Suicide, My Story Suicide, My StoryI remember it like it was yesterday, the date was December twentieth 1990. My cousin, Jason, called me that afternoon to invite me to go camping with him and two of his friends, Josh and Juan. It had been snowing heavily for the past two weeks, that night it had let up some. We arrived at the campsite later than we had expected. When we arrived there we set up the tent, the air mattresses, and the sleeping bags. All four of us were going to share a tent, because Juan couldn’t find his tent.
After we had everything set up, we went on a nature walk. We were watching for wildlife but the only wildlife we saw was each other and some other campers. The only sound in the forest, that day was the crunching of snow under our boots. We walked for about four miles on a trail that led around a lake. When we got back to camp, Juan and I started the fire while Jason and Josh got the food prepared. We roasted hotdogs, potatoes, and ears of corn. After that we roasted marshmallows for s'mores.
Jason and Josh decided to turn in after we ate, but Juan and I stayed out to stargaze, and listen to the crackling of the logs in the fire. Juan taught me how to find the North Star, while I pointed out Orion to him. We sat there, talking late into the night; we finally turned in at about 2a.m. We had planned to sleep Josh, Juan, Jason, and me, but the way it ended up was Jason, Josh, Juan and I. We woke up about 7 a.m. Juan and I cooked eggs and bacon for breakfast.
After we ate, we took our bows and arrows over to the nearby archery range, that was in the park, they were having a contest for adolescents. Juan and I signed up for the ten-year-old class, while Josh and Jason signed up for the sixteen-year-old class. Juan and I both hit the bull's eye with all three arrows; everyone else in the ten-year-old class barley hit the outside of the target. Jason had taught me how to use a bow properly, when I was about four. Juan had learned about the same time. One of Juan’s arrows had split mine and one of mine had split his arrows. Jason didn’t fare as well; he only hit the bull's eye twice. Josh hit the bull's eye twice and split somebody’s arrow. Juan, Josh and I along with the rest of the age group (ten to eighteen) winners got to shoot two more arrows. After every one shot one arrow the targets were moved back twenty-five yards. Juan, another guy from the eighteen year old class, and I hit the bull's eye with both arrows, and on our second shot we each split one of the arrows that were already on the target. So we each got to shoot one more arrow. Our last shot was 150 yards from the target. The eighteen-year-old shot first, his arrow went from the bow to the target so fast that I didn’t even know that he had shot it, he hit the outside ring. Juan’s arrow hit the bull’s eye; I was the last to shoot. When I got up from where I was sitting I was nervous, very nervous. I started to aim; I pulled the bow taunt and let go. The arrow sailed through the air, I couldn’t watch. The next thing I heard was the thump of the arrow hitting the target and the crowd cheering, I turned around to look and saw that the judge was measuring how far the arrow was from the circumference of the circle. Then he motioned to the other judges that I hit a perfect bull’s eye, the only one shot all day. Juan and Josh seemed really happy for me, but Jason was upset for not have hitting the bull’s eye all three times, Archery was the world to Jason. We hung out at the range until they closed at five, then we headed back to camp.
We started the fire and cooked fish and potatoes for supper; we had packed a lunch for the competition. After supper Josh, Juan and I went for a walk, Jason pleaded a headache. While we were walking we heard a gun shot, We thought that it was just a hunter. When we arrived back at camp, however, we found Jason, dead. Jason had shot himself in the head with the gun while the rest of us were out for the walk around the lake, it was a tradition, whenever we were there. Josh went to get the ranger while Juan stayed with me. There was blood all over the place. When I looked at Jason I could see where the bullet had entered his head. It was one of the most sickening sights I have ever seen. I looked up to Jason so much he was more than a cousin to me he was like a brother, he was always there whenever I needed someone to talk to. I felt like the world was crashing down, and I didn’t have anyone to talk to, or share my feelings with. When I saw him on the ground with the blood pooling around his head I was devastated. With one gunshot I had lost my cousin, and my best friend. When Josh got back with the ranger the ranger said that he’d have to call the cops, so they could move the body. So my family could get him ready for the funeral.
After the cops arrived, Josh drove Juan and me to my aunt’s house to tell her the news. When she opened the door I couldn’t tell her, I was still in shock from what had happened. In the car on the way there we had decided that it would be best if I was the one who told her, but I couldn’t bring myself to do it, I knew my aunt would be more devastated than I was. So Josh told her, she broke down and cried. While Josh was trying to comfort her, Juan was trying to help me deal with the fact that Jason wasn’t going to be strolling threw the door, and that the only time that I would see him was after I died. Then we would see each other in heaven. Juan and Josh called all of Jason’s friends and all of the family. Juan and Josh were great they knew exactly what to do. Their families brought in enough food to feed an army. They made sure that my aunt had enough to eat until she was up to cooking and fixing things for herself. I stayed with her for two weeks after Jason committed suicide. I’ll never forget that night; December twenty-first 1990 will always stick out in my mind. Witnessing a suicide of a loved one or being the one to find them dead is the worst experience possible.
October 1997